Guest Post: The Last of Us, a Review in Rhythm by NachoLimeGuy

After all the madness of the last few days, time to get back to talking about fun games. Here is a review of the Last of Us through the medium of poetry by my friend NachoLimeGuy, if your interested in what this wise and sage fellow has to say then do check out his Youtube channel here,

The games theme is certainly not new

And the mechanics are like others too

But the characters are great

Which helps you relate

And is why I’d recommend it for you

Joel in his natural habitat

Joel in his natural habitat

It’s a survival game with action horror

Which isn’t a ground breaking genre

When a zombie comes at you

Quicker than you can react to

All you can say is ‘oh bother’

Besties all the way

Besties all the way

The gameplay is like gears of war

But with stealth sections and zombies galore

The mechanics are relevant

Zombie A.I. intelligent

And left me with a lust for more

Derp Horse!

Derp Horse!

The shooting hasn’t got that much to it

But the game will still take you all through it

What I don’t get though

Is how an arrow and bow

Is so much better than firing bullets

Ellie or Lara Croft?

Ellie or Lara Croft?

The start is a white knuckle ride

That made me so sad that I cried

There are no spoilers here

You have nothing to fear

But after I felt dead inside

Skip ahead to 20 years later

Where things haven’t gotten much greater

The world is in ruin

That much is a shoe-in

Like the future shown in terminator

You play as a guy we call Joel

And escape from a police force patrol

Then they use all their might

To shoot you on sight

Whilst you try to remain in control

Later on you find a girl called Ellie

Who’s as useless as a fishnet welly

She just stands and looks bored

While an enemy horde

Is trying to turn you to jelly

But while she is lacking in combat

And stands around like a confused wombat

She has development and jokes

And some heart-warming quotes

So I guess I’ll forgive her for that

You will need to look around for supplies

And craft good weapons for your guy

But you don’t have to try

To arm friendly AI.

Cos no one but you ever dies

The humans can be quite a bore

When you’ve gone through the horrible chore

Of clearing a camp

To attacked by some tramp

Spawned from somewhere you cleared before

The clickers will mess up your tuckus

If they hear you causing a ruckus

But just throw flaming spirits

And they walk straight into it

And burn up the daft motherfuckers

All in all this game has been

One of the greatest games I’ve ever seen

Although it has some glitches

And some section are bitches

Just play it you’ll see what I mean

Unfortunately it’s true I must say

I haven’t played this game all the way

So if the ending is shitty

Then that is a pity

As it would seriously ruin my day


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About PropeRob

All round song and dance man with penchant for quoting Jeeves and Wooster and Toberlone's. Known to drone on about Video Games and geeky bollocks to anyone who can't escape in time.

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