Gaming CVs: Mario Mario

Name: Mario Mario


Former Occupations: Plumber, Princess rescuer, Go Kart racer, Olympian, Unlicensed Doctor


  • Can jump in certain ways to kill sentient creatures with boot.
  • Can throw fireballs shortly after eating certain plants.
  • trained and proficient pilot of several types of vehicles such as Go Kart, Hand glider and submarine.
  • Able to fix a leaky S-bend in under ten minutes
  • When subjected to various types of fungi will grow several times larger than ordinary size
  • Has rescued the same Princess from the same dragon/turtle thing on numerous occasions.
  • Able to hand out valid prescriptions for medical marijuana at certain pharmacies.

Education: Very little

Personal Statement: It’s a me, Mario!

References given.

Luigi Mario (Brother and business partner of several years)

Statement given about applicant: He’s a bell end. Mario embezzled large amounts of the companies funds into his own pocket. At first I didn’t know what to think when he turned up to the office in a brand new kart, or had an Olympic sized stadium built in his garden, but then when I looked into the company purse I knew he was to blame. After a lengthy court trial he settled but the company has never been the same since, I’ve had to start moon lighting as a ghost hunter. Only hire him if the job involves firing huge amounts of sentient bullets at him, he hates them.

Bowser (Nemesis, Warlord, adult film star, Podcaster)

Statement given about Applicant: That man has killed so many Goombas it’s not even funny. He’s a selfish wanker who keeps kidnapping my fiance, Peach. And each time he does, he kills dozens if not hundreds of my men, each with a family that I have to write home to and give my condolences to, you can only say ‘I’m sorry for your lose’ before it loses all meaning, and you become a hollow shell of a dragon/turtle who drinks far too much and gets in fights after Go Karting tournaments.


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About PropeRob

All round song and dance man with penchant for quoting Jeeves and Wooster and Toberlone's. Known to drone on about Video Games and geeky bollocks to anyone who can't escape in time.

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