Let’s talk about Suicide Squad for a moment.

Ok, so it happened at last. Suicide Squad came out and it’s a little bit shit. Ok, it’s quite a lot of shit but that is sadly becoming par for the course with DC films these days ain’t it? A lot has been written about the failings of Warner Bros attempt at creating their own shared cinematic universe with some of the best-known characters in all of fiction. Perhaps it’s down to poor management from WB or directors and writers that either don’t get the source material or just don’t like it that much, to begin with (Looking at you, Snyder) but that’s for the scholars to decide. I’m just here to hurl my own ad-hoc reckons in the vast wastes of the internet (Also I’m about to start playing No Man’s Sky so I could be gone for a while)


Comprised of a lot of C/D/E list DC villains the Suicide Squad are a government tasked force sent on missions no one else can do, because if they get killed who cares?

The film’s chosen line up is:

Deadshot – A man with guns

Harley Quinn – A women with guns and a boyfriend whose a bit of a dick

Rick Flag – A man with guns. Not a villains, just a bit daft.

Captain Boomerang – An Australian

El Diablo – A character who ran away from the X-men and sold crystal meth for a bit

The Enchantress – A really crap villain (Spoilers)

Slipknot – A character whose main contribution to the plot is to punch a woman then die very quickly. Also, he climbs things.

Killer Croc – Because King Shark would have been too cool.

Katana – A women with a sword. Not a villain, just kinda there.

So that’s your line up for the movie. In terms of supervillains, most of them are just a bit crappy when it comes to the whole ‘super’ thing with only Enchantress and Diablo having any real super-powers (No Killer Croc does not count, he’s just got terrible skin.) So what that they have barely anyone with powers? Well, it’s indicative of the whole films premise being dreadfully squandered. The action scenes are dull gun battles for the most part with only a few brief moments where Diablo actually sets fire to stuff.

Even Captain Boomerang only seems to use his bloody boomerangs for hand to hand combat, which he isn’t that great since he gets stabbed but SPOILER lives because he had crammed some cash in his jacket because he can’t stop stealing. Also, he is Australian.

The goons they’re up against as well are perhaps some of the dullest I’ve seen in all of cinema. Black and grey goo goons with loads of tiny eyes on their heads, the image in your head maybe of some Lovecraftian Horrors that might be kinda frightening to behold, unfortunately, the film is so poorly lit that you never get a good look at them, so they just look like poorly rendered poo goons.

Deadshot, Rick Flag and Harley Quinn are the three who get the most screen time and character development, which isn’t saying much since Deadshot is just Will Smith, an actor with such a well-managed screen presence it’s hard to tell when he’s acting these days. Rick Flag is played by Joel Kinnaman, an actor I’ve been hard on in the past (I’m still getting court orders after my 3rd-year uni review of Robocop) here however Joel is somewhat watchable, even being the emotional core of the group by the time the third act rolls around.

Harley Quinn is of course played by Margot Robbie. Robbie does a decent impression of a Harley Quinn cosplayer, all “Hiya Puddin” and crazy for Mr J but she’s actually quite boring for much of the film. The worst Quinn stories focus on her relationship with the Joker, never exploring who she is when he’s not around and this film never lets us forget that Mr J is coming for her, giving her no chance to be more than just a girlfriend.

Well, now I’ve mentioned the Joker I suppose it’s time to address the egomaniac in the room.





Do you have that friend who thinks they can do a good Heath Ledger Joker impression, and can’t resist doing it every time Batman is mentioned? Jared Leto is that friend and he fucking sucks.

I’ve been told the Leto is a good actor, don’t think I’ve ever sat through any of his other work and after SS I really won’t be trying to change that because he’s so very bad in SS that it’s almost like he was trying to break the film with his mere presence.

Joker has about three scene in the entire film and each one could have been cut from the film and would have made it a stronger film. Joker is looking to get Harley back from the government clutches so goes about harming people until he finds out how, then he rescues her in a helicopter but it gets shot down, he disappears. THE END. There is some origin story stuff for Harley of how she met him blah blah, read a comic book, they’re better written than this film.

Obviously, with a Batman in this shared universe, there needs to be a Joker, it’s the law. We all knew he’d show up sooner or later and thanks to Harley Quinn’s presence in the film we know that he exists somewhere. So why not leave it at that? Joker exists, let him be big bad off camera who Harley is on edge about.

There is a scene in one of the trailers for SS where the Joker laughs and Harley says “Say that’s not good”. That line gave me so much hope for what they’d do with Quinn in this film. Have her try and escape her awful boyfriend because she knows she can’t say no to him.

That would have been a great direction to take Harley for this incarnation of the character, and one that would have set-up for some great stuff further down the line with other Batman films and maybe a Harley Quinn solo film (Can’t be worse than Aquaman)

Anyway these have been some completely off the cuff thoughts on Suicide Squad I thought I’d share with you.

Now to go play No Man’s Sky and call everything Buttzilla.






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About PropeRob

All round song and dance man with penchant for quoting Jeeves and Wooster and Toberlone's. Known to drone on about Video Games and geeky bollocks to anyone who can't escape in time.

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